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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Moody Lil Bitches


A very long time ago, I bought a replica of this painting. I had no idea who it was or what it was even about. I just knew I loved it at first sight. It now hangs in my home and people often comment on it. It's a stark, intense painting and I love it.

Years later, I found out that the painting was of Sappho, a legendary writer that remains highly regarded to this day. "Dark little Sappho" with her brooding intensity appealed to me when I was still discovering my own writer's voice. The fact she is such a highly regarded female writer of lyric poetry appeals to me. She stands among greats and is considered by some to be the greatest.

Of course, she is also well known for her homoerotic poetry and her name and the place of her birth, Lesbos, has heavily influenced the lesbian community. I may not be gay (though some of my characters are!), but I can see why they adore her.

She's a strong woman who made an impact on our world.

I adore strong women. I also happen to be one. It's often not an easy role to have when people see you as a pillar of strength in adversity. It puts a helluvalot of pressure on you to go beyond what you feel are your limits. I admit I'm often shocked at how much I can accomplish when I push myself. Family, friends and co-worker see me as someone they can depend on and as I grow older, I am more comfortable with this role.

But when it comes to my role as a writer....UGH!!

I really love what I write. I wouldn't write it if I didn't want to read it. I often write because I want to know how the damn story ends! But just because I adore a certain character and love to hang out in an imaginary world does not necessarily mean everyone out there will, too.

I cruise writer's blogs. It's cool to see what's up in the minds of other people slogging away at their computers to create fantastic worlds. Two topics caught my eye recently: self-promotion and reviews.

I have to admit, both of these things make me shudder.

I love positive reviews, but the negative ones can be a little disconcerting. Whenever I get a negative review, I consider what the reader is saying seriously (unless its obvious they're just trolling). If I want to be the best writer I can be, I'm going to have to take some hits and learn from them when they are legit. It just sucks donkey balls to realize you've goofed it. But if I realize its legit, I do take care to evolve and change. I am not perfect, so I know my writing won't be either. It does annoy the hell out of me when some one's version of a review is them telling you how they would write your story (...and you should have so and so die and the robot should really be blah blah blah...and this gun should be..and blah blah blah). Reviews are tricky things. They are valuable when they give you new perspective. But when I realize someone is just being a troll, I just ignore and keep going.

As for the whole self promotion thing...yuck. I have noticed that most writer's websites look identical and they all write in a particular style in their blogs. I'm not stupid. I know the pack mentality when I see it. I've never done well with packs. I'm that weird girl standing on the outside of it. Hell, I was Goth before I knew what Goth was.

But I can't fault the other authors for this. Our whole society is obsessed with either being this really cool individual that sticks out from the crowd (so we can ridicule them later) or running with the pack of the cool peeps(so we can ridicule them later). And when people see something is working for a successful author, I think the inclination is that is they have the magic formula, quick, grab it!

Mary Janice Davidson, for example, is credited for creating paranormal chick lit. The woman is freaking hilarious and foul mouthed to boot. Seriously warped. She makes me laugh out loud when I'm reading her Betsy series (the mermaid series..not so much though). As soon as she hit the big time, the market flooded with knock offs. I tried reading one, but it really sucked (no pun intended) and I couldn't stand it. I didn't even finish it or if I did, I have blocked it from my mind! Long story short, I don't read any paranormal chick lit but MJD. Everything else just feels fake.

Laurell K. Hamilton, meanwhile, is well known at this point in her career for books full of vampire and furry were-animal orgies. I loved the books in the Anita Blake series until Narcissus in Chains. It was in that book that all that had come before took a flying leap out the window and we all fell down the rabbit hole into paranormal porn theater. When LKH wrote that infamous "Dear Negative Reader" post, she was writing to me. I have completely checked out of that series and the Merry one and I'm not spending a cent on the books anymore. But she makes the big bucks and has lots of fans, so there are copycats everywhere. Sunny is one that comes to mind with her Mona Lisa books. I read one of her short stories in an anthology and actually checked online to see if it was LKH in disguise. Nope. Just a copycat. I don't read either author.

Its so bizarre to feel so much pressure to be a unique writer but at the same time fit into the pack. I see it on so many blogs and articles about the publishing world it makes my head spin. "Stand out to the agents and publishing houses!" headlines scream over articles that tell you how to stun and amaze the gatekeepers. Of course, this will most likely result in a nice form letter that reads "This is not what we are looking for. We want paranormal chick lit and erotic werewolf vampire orgies". Okay, leave off the second sentence, but that's what you'll end up with. Try and stand out and you'll probably get kicked to the curve.

I would love to think that as an Independent Author I'm free of these two sharp barbs, but I'm not. I will have reviews that I will want to frame and hang on my wall and others that will probably make me want to crawl under my desk. I'll face the big questions of "Do I just be my normal, weird gothy self or try and look like I'm normal. Is what I'm writing the way to go or should I try something different?"

At this point, I'm inclined to just be who I am in my blog, website and myspace. I'm going to write what I want to read and hope people like it. The pressure is still there...to stun and amaze with my wonderful individuality...while running with the pack and hanging with the cool kids.

Eh...

Goths dress better anyway....

Just check out Sappho...

3 comments:

  1. That's a dark picture of the tenth muse, but it is cool to read that my favorite undead author loves my favorite poet. The first picture I saw of her is the fresco from Pompeii. I just wish we had more of her writings than the fragments that we have. I'm actually looking for a new translation at the moment to replace my last one which someone never returned, so if you have any recommendations, I'd be interested in hearing them.

    As for self promotion and marketing, I loath it, but I have learned how essential it is. It's great to see marketing skills being used to promote something good like your work, but such promotion is often lost among the thousands of shouting advertisements vying for our attention every day.

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  2. Your inspiring, keep up the good work. you have a nice style and a quirky sense of humor that I find refreshing. I will be looking forward to reading your book.

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  3. I try not to write my blog in the same style that everyone else does. If I took a more direct approach to writing my writing blog instead of just my once-a-month update, it might work better. I'm still not sure though; I think I'll stick to the once-a-month blog. Keeps it easier for people to read outside of my personal journal.

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